Hair Today

Beetlejuice_Michael_Keaton

 

Julep is delayed this month, and so there are no boxes for the first few days of July. So now, you’re stuck with an anecdote from me.  This one is about my hair.

I know. Important, right?

After wearing my hair in a cute, short, pixie style for quite a while, I grew it out when I was pregnant a couple years ago because I thought that being able to put it in a ponytail as a new mom would be helpful.  And it was.  And has been. The added bonus is that my husband always comments on how much he likes my hair, as apparently most heterosexual men seem to have a thing for long hair over a  short-and-tight.  Lately, though, I am getting the itch to go back to my easy-breezy pixie again. Most of what is stopping me is that, one, I still have about 20 pounds of baby weight (um, how long do you get to call it baby weight and not just “weight”?) on me, which makes me feel that I cannot as easily pull off the short cut like I used to be able to. And two, the aforementioned husband and his aforementioned praise of the aforementioned long hair. In thinking about this decision, I have come up with a list of things that did not happen to me when I had short hair, but that regularly happen to me now.

When I had short hair I did  not:

  1.  Accidentally roll my hair up in my car window and then unwittingly yank a bunch of it out as I tried to open the door.
  2. Choke on my hair. On what is sadly becoming a fairly regular basis.  What IS that?!
  3. Apply lipgloss and then immediately have my hair plastered across my mouth upon walking outside into even the slightest breeze
  4. Have hair ALL over my bathroom and clothing and pillow and, well, everything.  I now shed worse than our elderly Australian Shepherd mix.
  5. Have the ability to swing my hair across my son’s face in a tickl-y way, which has made him squeal with laughter since he was tiny.
  6. Pay a kerbillion dollars to my stylist for getting my hair colored
  7. Spend a vast portion of my day as a slave to my blow-dryer, and then just give up and wear a ponytail, like, 75% of the time. Because of how it makes being a mom easier.  Even at the office.

However, with my long hair I do not:

  1. Get asked if I am a boy or a girl on a regular basis
  2. Look like a man while wearing a hat, helmet or any other sort of head-covering, such as a paper bag
  3. Wake up looking like Michael Keaton in Beetlejuice
  4. Attempt weekly to maim or kill my Dyson Animal by sucking up elastic ties from the carpet
  5. Have to buy said elastic ties 50 at a time every couple of months because I cannot keep track of those damn things. (note to self: check vacuum cleaner)
  6. Feel the need to wear full-face makeup and large earrings all the time to still feel like I look feminine
  7. Feel like my double chin is always on display.

So, that is my pro-con list.  What should I do?

2 thoughts on “Hair Today

  1. hahaha! 🙂 I actually had the opposite happen – everyone seemed to love my hair short vs. long (and thankfully so, as long is a hassle). I thought your short hair was so cute! I never mistook you for a dude. The boobs generally also help with that. 😉 Wearing long hair in a ponytail all the time kinda defeats the purpose… But I do agree with the pros/cons – the bedhead is WAY worse with short hair. I dunno, maybe go in-between first? Like a nice shoulder-length cut, so you can still pull it back, but it’s a bit easier to manage?

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